*music* Arin: Hi. Hey! Woaah! Hey! Hey!
Dan: Oh, hey! Oh, hey! A: HEY! WOAH!
D: WOO! Hello! A: YEAAAAAH!!! D: Welcome to the 10 Minute- D: …Power Hour. A: We’re going to p- A: Can you see that? D: Yeah, let’s- Well, you just pointed right at it. D: Welcome to the 10 Minute Power Hour. That’s Arin Hanson and I’m Daniel Avidan and today- A: Is that how you pronounce it? D: Yeah. *balloons rustling/squeaking* D: Ohh! D: It’s flying awaaay! A: It wasn’t… wasn’t enough balloons. D: It’s pretty flawless. A: Just wrap it up. *dinosaur and cup crashing to the ground* A: What are we doing today, Dan? D: I don’t know. A: Oh, I- I’m the one who knows.
D: Yeah. A: It’s- We’re doing… A: …Taxidermyyyy! D: Oh my God! A: With our special guest, Suzy, my wife! D: It’s Suzanne Berhow! A: She’s beautiful, and I love her! Suzy: [mouthing] No… D: [laughs] A: What do you mean, “No?” S: Are you guys ready? A: Yeah!
D: Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. D: Come on over. A: Come on over. Bring your chair, ladies. S: Hi guys, welcome to 10 Minute Power Hour! D: Yaaaaay!
[Suzy giggles] S: I’m your host, Suzy Berhow, and today we’re gonna be taxiderming some bugs! A: [softly] Oh, shit. D: I cannot wait. D: Teach us how, Suzy, because I don’t know anything. D: Do you have bugs? A: Where are your materials? S: I have them all right here. D: [excited gasp] A: She’s gonna get them. D: So, how are you guys? D: Everything good? Tucker: Don’t talk to us. D: Okay. A: How come Dan gets the clean one and I get the one that’s, like, covered in bug shit? S: So you guys have everything you need. You have your boards- Don’t smell it. A: [weird gagging noise] S: These are your pins; you guys will share. And then these are… important. S: All right. (D: Okay.) So, to get started, I’m gonna give you each a Luna Moth. A: Oh, the Luna Moth is so beautiful! S: There you go. These ones are from Georgia, here in the United States. S: Go ahead and reach in there and pull it out. D: It’s more moist then I wanted it to be… A: What do you mean, “Pull it out?” I’m gonna fuckin’… D: Can I just shake it out? S: Yeah! I mean, be gentle. A: [gagging] S: It’s kind of got the consistency of wet paper towel. So you really want to be careful with it.
A: [continuously gagging] D: Euughh… S: Look, you did it!
A: [still gagging]
D: [giggles] A: It’s beautif- [gags again] D: [giggles] D: How’d you get it out? Did you touch the wing? A: I just ripped the bag open, and fuckin’ (D: Ohh.) dumped it out on the stupid piece of wood. D: That’s a smart idea. A: Sorry. I didn’t mean to call your piece of wood stupid. *Funky Jams* A: You want us to… rip the legs off this tiny little creature? A: What if it hurts him? S: [as the dead moth] Hi, Dan! Nice to see you! D: Nooo! Don’t personify him! S: [still the dead moth] What’re you doin’, Dan? A: Oh, he’s so fluff- his fluff is coming off on me!! A: Nooo! His fluff is rubbing off on my fingers! S: You gotta be more delicate. A: What do you mean more delicate?! [Dan screams] How am I supposed to hold it if its fluff is coming off? S: You’re yelling! You’re gonna make Dan scared. D: Yeah, I am s- AAAA! AAGH!! D: Oh, I don’t like it!! D: [intermittent yells of disgust] S: You got it. You got it. * p o p * D: AAAAAA-HA-HAAAUGH A: AH! He’s got little pricks! He pricked my finger! D: Okay… S: Perfect, Dan!
A: Oh, no… D: Thank you. S: Wow… Dan’s beating you. D: Yeah. A: What do you mean he’s beating me? D: In the race to rip off an innocent creature’s legs. A: Yeah, he’s beating the insects… S: He’s dead. S: I promise he can’t feel anything. D: [uncomfortable laugh] D: It’s just gross ’cause, like, it extends when you pull it… D: Like, “Yes, take my hand!” Then you rip the whole thi-… Ugh… S: Now, for some bugs, you will leave the legs on. But for butterflies and moths when you display them- S: -it’s better if you take them off ’cause it’s easier to display them. A: Okay. Did it.
D: Okay, and- S: And we’re gonna frame these in the office afterwards, right? D: Oh! No shit!
S: I’m sure this will be really nice. A: I did your dirty deed, Suzy. S: Okay, great. D: What do I do with the legs? S: Uh- D: Do I sweep them into this? S: Put ’em on this. *more Funky Music* S: You gotta hold it yourself, Dan. You’re gonna prick me. A: Oh no, I lost an antenna! Suzy, nooo! S: That happens. You gotta be more delicate, Arin. A: What do you mean be more delicate? You just said rip his legs off! A: The hell is delicate about that?! D: [giggles] D: My pin is kind of coming out the side, is that bad? D: Does it need to be from the-? A: Mine’s in the dead center, ’cause I’m epic. S: We’ll make it work! I’m just narrating it.
D: Okay… S: So, I mean, whichever way you do it, we’ll make it work. S: This is, like, the most complicated 10 Minute Power Hour ever. A: Look how fucking fuzzy my goddamn thumb is! look at this fuzz! A: There’s like a hundred fuzzes on here! D: Pin it down through the… S: Oh! D: Like that? S: I forgot. Don’t put the pin through the wing. D: Ah. S: You put the pin through the card. A: That’s why you use the card. D: Ahhh-ohh! S: Arin gets it. Yeah, look at you~! A: [goofy voice] i’M LeArNinG S: You’re breaking the wing… A: I’m not breaking it, what do you mean? D: How’s that look? S: You know, that’s a lot better, Dan. D: Thanks, Suzy! S: I really like that.. D: That’s an F+! A: Suzy, I- A: I gotta redo it… (2x) A: NO- What do you mean I’m breaking it? Which wing am I breaking?! S: It’s breaking right h-
A: [shrill scream]
S: [giggles] D: That wing is one step closer to the edge… D: …and it’s abOUt to brEAK! A: [laughs]
D: [laughs at his own Funny Joke] S: That was really good. A: [laughs] D: Look at that, Tucker. D: Does that fuckin’… jerk your gherkin? A&D: [laugh] S: Did you get the… uh- A&D: [still laughing]
S: [patiently waiting for them to be professionals] S: Did you get the antennas secured? D: The antennas secured? S: Yours is already perfectly shaped.. D: Yaaay! A: Yeah… Oh, good job winning the fuckin’… A: …gene pool lottery, dude.
D: [laughs] D: [genuinely] Thank you. A: Asshole. D: [laughs] S: Wow, Arin, that looks so much better! A: Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?
S: Wow~! D: Oh, that does look good.
A: It’s fuckin’ great. S: If I was gonna give it another grade, it’s not asymmetrical in this V-shape on the other side. S: But that’s fine. S: We have another bug to do now. *more Funky Fresh Jams* D: [high-pitched scream] D: He’s looking at me!!! D: Hold on, let me turn him around so he’s looking away. A: [whispering] Don’t look at me…
D: Eugh… D: Oh, God, why are the legs so long and spindly? D: Ohhh- OH! AUHGH! D: I hate this part! A: Hey! This guy’s got a long proboscis! S: He does, does he?
D: He does. A: Look at his curly little proboscis!! S: Oooooo!
A: [giggle of pure joy] D: Do we rip that off too? Like an animal?
S: Woooo! A: It’s got a huge proboscis! A: Are you gonna extend his proboscis?
S: I am! A: OOOOH! LOOK AT IT!! A: IT’S SO LONG AND SPINDLY! D: Woaaah!
A: [joyful laughter] A: He uses that to drink nectar from flowers and such! S: That’s right~! S: Wow, Arin! [laughter in background] D: [inaudible]
A: [laughs] S: Here you go ~ A: Thank you. Ross?: Good job, buddy! A&D: [laughing] D: Who’s havin’ a special science day? [all three laugh] A: Do you want a staaaar sticker~?
S: It’s true! A: I think my butterfly is crook’d… S: Y’know, I thought that you’re going for more like a resting position? S: Like he’s, like, resting on a… flower. A: Did I fuck it up? A: Oh, I’m such an idiot. S: It looks like he’s resting! It’s a more natural pose. Some people like the natural pose. A: Yeah, I… went for that. That was my intention. A: So, thank you for noticing.
D: Is mine good? Mine’s kind of flopping up… A: [huge laughter] D: Suzy- Alright… A: He’s just saying hi, dude! A: He’s like, “Hellooooo!”
D: Like, “Suuup!” S: You know, it’s great. D: He’s got [claps] personALITY! A&D: [laughing] * f u n k y j a m s * A: Its adorable little antennas get in the fuckin’ way. D: Fuck him!! S: Are you getting mad? A: Yeah. S: This is supposed to be calming. A: What do you mean calming? Shit’s breakin’ all over the place. S: Come on, Arin. Do your breathing exercises. A: [breathing?] * funky music * D: OOOOH, NOOooooo! D: Whoaaa, grOSS! D: I’m actually a little grossed out by this.
S: Here you go~! A: Look at him. He’s cool! S: These are some Rhino Beetles. Ross: That’s my favorite bug! R: Now I’m interested!
D: Maybe he’s just sleeping… A: It looks like the tip of my wiener! [laughs] S: You gotta… uh… stretch out the legs. A: What the fuck?! D: Oooooh, God. I wish you’d done that with mine…
S: You don’t pull ’em off… S: You just stretch ’em out! A: Stop, stop! You’re ruining it. S: Oh! I should probably say… S: Uh… I have been approached by the Los Angeles Natural History Museum- S: -to preserve their bug collection for them, as well. D: Whoa! S: Unfortunately, it was not a paid position so I had to turn it down. D: Fair enough. S: But- So, if people like ever wonder about my accreditation… There you go. D: Gotta make that paper, boo boo. D: How’s that? S: That’s great! D: Yeah? S: Yeah! Do the other side. D: [uncomfortable laugh] D: It doesn’t- I don’t know if I’m doing this right, cuz it kind of looks like he’s flying. Like- D: wEeeEEeEeEEE!
S: [giggles] S: We’ll secure him more (2x)
A: Hey, look at him. A: Look at him; he’s silly! Look at how silly he is! [laughs] He’s jumping for joy! A: [imitating dead beetle] h-yAAa! D: I’m sure he’d be happy to know we’re having fun with his corpse. A: [imitating dead beetle again] yAAa! S: So, the next part’s the hard part. You’re gonna lift up this… (crunCH) D: [disgusted groan] D: [uncomfortable laugh] D: Our producer, Hanna, did not have a good reaction to that cracking sound… (cruncH) D: hOHhhh, no… D: Yes… D: Yes, it feels good on my skin. A&S: [laughing] S: Oh, this one you almost had there! D: I-I almost- D: Ugh… D: I don’t know what the difference between, like, the Good Crunch and the You’re-Ruining-This-Thing Crunch. A: Oh, I think they’re the same crunch. D: Are they basically…? S: [quietly] Alright. A: I don’t- I don’t know that bugs were meant to be pinned on a board of wood. S: So, now that you have the wing shells up, you’re gonna go ahead and take out the wing. A: It feels like plastic; it doesn’t feel real. D: It really doesn’t. D: Oh, I fucked up the pin… A: Do I pin him? S: Mhm! S: No, not through him. A: No? Nooo…
S: No. Here, I’m gonna get some pins for you. Here you go. A: Mmmmmm… A: Scary. A: Okay. Okay.
D: [laughs] “Scaryyy.” S: So, what you’re gonna do is place it between the head and the leg so like- S: -right here. S: On all four sides to kind of hold them in place, and then you’re gonna pin the wings just like the butterfly wings. A: Ow, I pricked myself. S: Wait ’til you see what we have for the last bug… D: Oh, crap.
A: The last bug?! A: I don’t have any more room! D: Yeah, I didn’t leave much room… S: I brought another board; don’t worry. We’re safe. D: Cool. S: We needed something bigger for the bug. A: I had it posed, and now it’s not posed! D: Sounds like it’s going well over there. D: Ross, don’t eat McDonald’s in here! R: I was bringin’ Suzy her fries! D: Oh, okay. [laughs] S: I can’t eat ’em right now. R: I’m just telling you it’s here. S: Oh, thank you, Ross. R: I got us some McDonald’s. S: Thanks, Ross. D: Allie, throw some fries into my mouth.
S: You’re so sweet. D: No, no, I- No, it’s okay. Allie: [laughing] I’m like, “Alright!” S: Wow, Arin! Look at that! D: Yours look beautiful. R: [laughing] And a Chicken McNugget!
S: Nooo. D: Ohhh, God.
R: [laughing] S: Alright. [everyone talking over each other] D: Wait- Actually, Ross- D: Can you- Can you hand me a chicken nugget please? R: [still laughing] Here you go. D: Thank you. S: I’m actually so hungry. I can’t believe you guys are eating- R: You want some sweet and sour sauce, man? D: No, thank you, no.
R: Okay, cool. D: I’m just gonna…
A: [laughing] A: It might as well be preserved forever.
[laughing in the background] D: Yeah that’s just what I want. [giggles] * crank those funky tunes, baby * A: [strained] It’s a spider… A: Hooray… D: Oh, God, it’s so fucking disgusting! A: What, you don’t like it? D: Augh. God. A: What, it’s not your friend? D: There’s something about this that’s so much worse- A: What, you don’t want more of it? D: [horrified yell]
A: You don’t want it? D: Get it away!! D: Get it away. S: I think he’s kind of cute. D: Ugh…
S: You don’t like him? D: Suzy…
A: He looks like he’s you know, he’s- S: Look at his teeth! D: Suzy…
A&S: [laughing] D: I swear, I would never hit anyone, but I- I- I will start swinging wildly. S: Look at all his eyes! A: It looks like he’s doing, like, that cat stretch, you know where they’re like- [stretching noise] S: Yeah!
A: See, he’s doing that. S: Look at- Babe, you’re so cute~.
A: Oh, gosh! [giggles] S: Well, you can start pulling on his- not pulling out, but pulling- S: -them around like we did with the beetle. Kind of arranging them. D: When his legs are spread out it like- like a- D: -normal spider. It doesn’t bother me as much it’s only when it was, like- D: [wheeze] “I’m tobogganing towards you!”
S: Ready to pounce? D: Like, it fucking… ughH! S: Look at that, Arin! A: Look at that. He’s beautiful! S: So, now, this is a basic arrangement. S: You guys wouldn’t know-
A: [sarcastic] Oh, I’m sorry Suzy! S: This would work for- D: “What my basic bitch husband here has completed.” D&S: [laugh] A: I did it. (4x) D: Thank you…
A: Yes! S: Yeah, look at that! A: Do you like that shit? S: Yeah, it looks great. A: Yeah, that’s fucking right you like it. S: So sexy. D: Oh, my God, guys. Fucking… D: Keep it in the- D: GeT a ScIEnce rOoM! A: [laughing] A: GeT a LAb, yoU GuYs! D: [laughing] A: “A science room?” D: I couldn’t think of the word ‘lab.’
A: [laughs] D: It’s too… It’s too complicated. [everyone giggling] D: I put my s- I… I put my spider’s leg up. D: So, he’s kinda doing like a…
A: [laughing] I like how you pinned the leg separately! D: …like a little, “See you later boys!” A&S: [laughing] A: Dude, this shit fucking kills me. [laughs]
D: Yeah? D: Thanks. D: It’s nice and secure. A: [still laughing] D: You can barely tell! D: I don’t know, Arin, which leg are you talking about? There’s eight to choose from! A: What do you think of mine? [hacks out of nowhere] D: Yours actually looks amazing. A: Thanks. It’s got a little smiley face on the back. S: You guys did really great. S: I’m really proud of how everything turned out. I mean, your guys’s displays are… S: …truly one-of-a-kind. D: Don’t disturb the nugget, please. [Ross dying of laughter] S: Uh, I-I’m- S: -so proud of you guys. Uh… S: Thanks for having me on so we can do this- S: -fun October…
D: Allie! S: …insect pinning class…
A: You want French fries? D: Thank you, Suzy. D: Anyway, thank you for joining us on the 10 Minute Power Hour. We hope you enjoyed this! A: Thanks for having Suzy with, uh- thanks for Suzy having… A: Thanks for coming, Suzy.
D: Thanks, Suzy! S: Yeah, thanks for having me. A: Yeah, you can check her out at her Instagram @mortemer. S: Yeah, or, uh, my store Psychic Circle. S: I sell some pinned bugs there. A: psychiccircleoddities.com. S: Yeah, but, uh, thanks for having me. You guys did great. S: I’m actually impressed how well you did. S: I’ll frame these guys up for you, and you guys can see what they look like when they’re all done. D: That’s awesome. D: Alright, on the count of three, everyone smell their hands.
A: Okay. D: Okay, ready?
A&D: One, two, three. D: OOOOOOOH- * smooth and funky outro tunes * translation : ?v=XTnlsKÑÌÍ