《影响力》|你为什么会说“是”?|互惠原理是什么意思?|承诺与一致原理是什么意思?|社会认同原理是什么意思?|社会认同原理如何发挥作用?罗伯特·B·西奥迪尼作品|#StayHome #WithMe

《影响力》|你为什么会说“是”?|互惠原理是什么意思?|承诺与一致原理是什么意思?|社会认同原理是什么意思?|社会认同原理如何发挥作用?罗伯特·B·西奥迪尼作品|#StayHome #WithMe


Hello, welcome to your reading I’m the host and I’m reading this today for you, the world’s leading authority on persuasion and influence The work of Dr. Robert b. sialdini Influence, why do you always say yes, the Chinese version of the book is about 250,000 words Let’s take a look at the essence of the book Our brains are responding very quickly to a fast paced environment And it’s going to be based on some kind of mechanical principle We think we make decisions independently and wisely But in fact, our minds and judgments are often shaped by the actions and actions of others But in fact, our minds and judgments are often shaped by the actions and actions of others These effects may seem to have nothing to do with our decision But they actually changed our decision. Let us listen to the arrangement of others without knowing it. And this is an influence that sums up this point The most pervasive and influential psychological decision principle Uncover the secrets of the common mind trap in your life. We all know that consumption needs reason But in the modern world we have to do that It’s really hard We sometimes line up for two or three hours to buy a cup of milky tea Or you can go on a shopping spree on nov 11 A cheap bargain The worst thing is, go back and think about it The worst thing is, go back and think about it We don’t even know what’s going on. Why do I spend so much time? What do I buy those things? Rest assured, it’s definitely not your problem. Rest assured, it’s definitely not your problem. In fact, it’s driving us out of these stupid things In fact, it’s driving us out of these stupid things It’s just a pattern of human behavior When it comes to behavioral patterns What I have to mention is pavlov’s conditional reflex experiment And this is what he did Light a lamp each time you feed the dog That’s a long time Even if there’s no food coming out The dog just sees the light It’s going to drool This is because the condition in the dog’s head has been linked with the food that comes with it So you can stimulate the dog to do a certain kind of reflective behavior as long as you see the light So you can stimulate the dog to do a certain kind of reflective behavior as long as you see the light It’s drooling Do you think we humans don’t act like this? And the same is true of humans It’s just that our conditioning is not as straightforward and simple as that What’s the point? it’s mainly that we have too many things to touch every day Especially in this fast-paced world of modern society If you want to think about it in detail before you act on it If you want to think about it in detail before you act on it And that’s not a big brain capacity So, our brain has developed a shortcut So, our brain has developed a shortcut In other words, it’s based on memory and experience In other words, it’s based on memory and experience You divide things by different characteristics And document the behavioral and cognitive patterns that correspond to these things And document the behavioral and cognitive patterns that correspond to these things Next time, when the brain recognizes something like that And it’s going to respond very quickly Such conditioned reflex It can save us time and energy It can save us time and energy But the stakes are high In other words, it’s very easy to manipulate our thinking and our behavior Make wise decisions Or try to convince others to listen to you. You need to understand the rationale behind all of this We don’t have no reason to listen to others And of course you can’t convince others without reason The secret of obedience and of receiving And in this influence Dr. Robert b. cialdini has been a professor in the department of psychology at Arizona state university for many years The book that he brought to us The first is a rigorous scholarly work And the arguments that are cited are from important experimental results in social psychology But at the same time, it’s a book for the masses But at the same time, it’s a book for the masses The writing is like a conversation The example he gives is often the kind of stupidity and overreach that the author and his friends have made And that’s where the ground is The other book is particularly illuminating in our daily lives This influence analyzes a lot of the behaviors that are common in modern societies From which we can sum up some of the psychological forces that we are influenced by other people in the unconscious One of the most important is the principle of reciprocity and the principle of reciprocity and the principle of social identity One of the most important is the principle of reciprocity and the principle of reciprocity and the principle of social identity The reciprocity principle says If somebody does something for us And we thought that we should do something about him and that commitment and consistency I mean we always have a natural sense of responsibility Feel the need to keep the promise Keep your words and actions consistent The final principle of social identity It’s a herd mentality It’s that we always look at other people’s behavior in public and decide what they’re doing These three principles are summarized by the author They are very common human psychology across most of the national and cultural differences It’s widely held in all kinds of human societies To help these societies maintain a smooth and normal functioning It’s the same in the United States and in China It’s the same in the United States and in China Human relationships in life need reciprocity Human relationships in life need reciprocity The promise and the principle of consistency is the assurance that we can trust others with confidence And the social identity principle It can make our society more harmonious and stable But the same can be done by water. If we let them do mechanical things Then, the three most common forms of psychology can become our greatest weakness. So what we’re going to do is look at some of the psychological principles in the book How they affect our lives in what way The first point is, what is the reciprocity principle The first point is, what is the reciprocity principle Reciprocity is a benefit to each other In a nutshell We think subconsciously If somebody gives us a little bit of benefit We’re just getting his grace. Then we can not be indifferent Better not to complain It’s something that should be repaid in a different way And that’s the kind of reciprocity that we have to pay each other and we have a sense of responsibility It’s not just that we are kind In fact the principle of reciprocity It’s deep in human civilization You get a gift for your birthday so you have to remember the next time Send a gift back You get a red envelope when you get married Next time your child has a full moon I have to give him a bigger red envelope. In everyday life, it’s almost inevitable that you have that experience Sometimes we give people gifts It’s really painful But there’s no way The exchange of courtesy and the exchange of favours The exchange of courtesy and the exchange of favours It’s an essential part of our social relationships According to anthropologists and sociologists This kind of repayment is the basis for the successful development of human civilization It ensures that our ancestors can exchange the resources and skills they lack It’s a huge boost to productivity On the other hand, it’s also an important bond for creating and maintaining relationships On the other hand, it’s also an important bond for creating and maintaining relationships Because of that It’s internalized into our everyday thinking To establish a pattern of behavior that is particularly profound to us Even a stranger When he offered us a little kindness And we suddenly feel that it’s not that easy to turn down his request. As the saying goes, eating people’s mouth is soft and holding hands is the same As the saying goes, eating people’s mouth is soft and holding hands is the same So, please try the product for free So, please try the product for free Or it might be a little gift to the customer So this is sort of the oldest marketing tool in history And in this kind of common situation The reciprocity principle doesn’t give us particularly big trouble And sometimes it can be a very useful tool But this reciprocity principle is occasionally difficult to deal with For example, sometimes we don’t ask people to do anything for us It’s just that they come to the door Throw us some useless little favors. However, even at this point The kind of ingrained reciprocity that we have in us still works for us We owe it to people I always feel uncomfortable You have to find a way. It’s time to relax again. At this point, we are particularly receptive to the other person’s request At this point, we are particularly receptive to the other person’s request For example, in this book For example, in this book The author introduces a common practice of fundraising by an organization in the United States Members of the organization It’s gon na be on the street where people come and go All of a sudden, a flower in one’s hand Tell him, this flower is a gift for you. Please make sure you accept it And then the members of the organization are going to introduce themselves to each other And ask him to donate a dollar or two Most pedestrians are not interested in this organization You don’t need any flowers at all But, just because they thought they had received a gift So there is inevitably a sense of indebtedness Subconsciously feeling that you owe them something. In order to get rid of this unpleasant feeling The pedestrian will probably take out 1 dollars The pedestrian will probably take out 1 dollars Get it done quickly And in the end, the organization’s fundraising success rate is much higher than that of other organizations And in the end, the organization’s fundraising success rate is much higher than that of other organizations Just give you a flower that you don’t want You can pay for it The reciprocity principle can be very powerful But the most terrible thing is Sometimes you don’t have to give a flower to you. But you can also use reciprocity to make you compliant For example, let’s say I’m your friend For example, let’s say I’m your friend Now I want to borrow money from you Now I want to borrow money from you I want to borrow 1,000 dollars I want to borrow 1,000 dollars If you don’t want to borrow it, you refuse me. If you don’t want to borrow it, you refuse me. At this point, I’m going to go back and say I can’t do 1,000 dollars, so let me borrow at least 200 dollars I can’t do 1,000 dollars, so let me borrow at least 200 dollars Do you suddenly feel like That sounds a lot more reasonable You might think, I’ve turned him down once. Now he’s taken a step back I should take a step back 1,000 dollars, that’s really not true But 200 bucks Oh, come on, just lend it to him. Oh, come on, just lend it to him. You see, this is a kind of compromise that is influenced by reciprocity You see, this is a kind of compromise that is influenced by reciprocity It was also named the rejection and retreat strategy. You accept the kindness of others. I can’t help but feel obligated to return Again, even if the other person doesn’t give you anything It’s just the first concession You will feel the same obligation to make the same concession To put it bluntly, this is the white wolf To put it bluntly, this is the white wolf But it does work But it does work So in summary, the principle is that when you make a request So in summary, the principle is that when you make a request I’m going to do it in the first order In the example that I just mentioned I might have just wanted to ask you for 200 dollars However, if I open my mouth Maybe you’ll turn me down. So the $ 1,000 that I started with was just a blind eye that I put in the first place This is a very effective first and small request strategy For example, when we go shopping A smart business person would recommend the most expensive or least cost-effective products to us. But they also know that this thing is not going to sell The point is, they have to get the customer to reject them So you have a better chance of selling what you really want to sell Give each other a little kindness Or deliberately give in to the reward Or deliberately give in to the reward Reciprocity is a powerful weapon You can put pressure on us in the invisible Fight against it We should take a cool look at the benefits and concessions that come with it Realize that these are just a means We are not obligated to return But, conversely If you look at all others ‘ kindness as a sham Then we have a miserable life. And the best way to do it is to change it in the same way Identify your bottom line You don’t want to buy anything at first You can’t borrow money from the beginning and you can’t borrow it And finally, there’s one more thing Although the author describes the reciprocity principle as a flood But it’s actually been used extensively in marketing and negotiation But it’s actually been used extensively in marketing and negotiation Now that we have some understanding of this universal psychological model Whether it is in the life Or a strategy of retreat in negotiations We can use it on a variety of occasions The reciprocity principle says that we feel the kindness of others You want to make a return And the same thing, sometimes What we say The things that we do that in turn affect our thinking and actions later on Now, let’s look at the second bullet point The promise and the principle of conformity is a virtue If one is out of the other I don’t know what I said Or the idea is always going to change Then we’d think he’s a bad guy. he can’t be relied on. We always want to be seen as trustworthy and reasonable in the eyes of others We always want to be seen as trustworthy and reasonable in the eyes of others So we try to keep our words and actions consistent When we give our opinion or take a stand then we are going to try to maintain it When we give our opinion or take a stand then we are going to try to maintain it And in most cases it’s a good idea to be consistent and consistent But, as we’ve said before But, as we’ve said before Once our brains are determined that this behavior is good It’s very easy to form a mechanical reflection pattern So we might as well disregard the reality of what’s going on around us So we might as well disregard the reality of what’s going on around us And subconsciously ask to be consistent and consistent And subconsciously ask to be consistent and consistent And sometimes that leads us to a crisis of blind faith And a lot of businesses and organizations I’ll try to take advantage of that Here is an example of an author’s own experience In the United States, the annual Christmas rush is very famous Because parents always give their children a gift at Christmas So before Christmas So before Christmas Toys are going to be particularly good Relative, because after Christmas Nobody buys a new toy right away Sales of course plummeted A lot of toy manufacturers are eager to change that So that’s a strategy that’s used So that’s a strategy that’s used They were before Christmas Television advertising Promoting a new racing toy that is particularly interesting and expensive Promoting a new racing toy that is particularly interesting and expensive When kids see an ad, they ask mom and dad to buy it. For parents, it’s almost Christmas. For parents, it’s almost Christmas. They were supposed to buy gifts for their kids anyway Well, I’d better buy this. It’s rare once a year, and it’s not a lot of money So he said yes Be sure to buy him this racing toy. But wait for a long run to the store. And it turns out that the toy car is out of stock everywhere How about this? Christmas is coming soon You can’t just go back with your hands So they had to buy a little toy and save it Back at home, the child sees Back at home, the child sees No good racing toys No good racing toys Of course not. And the parents themselves feel bad about themselves And the parents themselves feel bad about themselves Have to make a promise I promise you that you will be able to wait for the car to come in and buy it for you. And then you can guess what’s going on As soon as Christmas is over, the racing toys are delivered The parents of these words Toy manufacturers maintain good sales numbers even during the off-season. And what is being used here is the specific commitment that parents make to their children Other times Other times We don’t necessarily have to make a commitment to a specific object It’s just expressing a position or an opinion And that’s enough to create a lot of psychological stress To force us to act on what we say They made mistakes in school They are always required to write a check Write it down explicitly, I’m not right I’ll never do that again. And the idea behind it is that it doesn’t have any legal validity But the research shows that Once a person passes his pen or his voice Express some of the opinions in your own language to others Even if you don’t really agree with that It’s also subconsciously thinking that you do have this obligation To put it into practice That’s what we’re talking about Some words will come true In the TV series, we often see things like this In the TV series, we often see things like this The young man is being teased by his friend to tell another man Before that It seems like there’s no idea But once you’ve spoken it out But it’s like, you know, you really like each other This is not just a kind of artistic creation It has the promise and the principle of consistency behind it In that sense We can also actively use this principle to push ourselves to achieve a very difficult goal For example, if you want to quit smoking They are afraid of their own lack of self-control At this time You can choose seven or eight friends and relatives I’m gon na quit smoking It’s better to write it down and sign it And I’m going to distribute it to you Or a micro blog or a circle of friends I’ll let you all see it In this way The sense of responsibility that you have in your subconscious mind to follow through on this commitment is much stronger The sense of responsibility that you have in your subconscious mind to follow through on this commitment is much stronger The success rate is going up And it works On the one hand it’s out of our desire to be consistent On the other hand it’s also because of the expression itself can be a ritual And we have to work hard to get through this ritual Research shows that the more effort we need to do one thing Research shows that the more effort we need to do one thing The more we look at it, the more we look at it For example, many big companies have a surprisingly high bar for hiring Sometimes it takes a month to pass the job. Through various rounds of written and written interviews Through various rounds of written and written interviews To get what you want Statistically speaking The more you go through the company The more loyal they are to the company The greater the pride in working for yourself Even if it’s a little frustrating at work They don’t give up too easily On the contrary, employees who are easily recruited On the contrary, employees who are easily recruited It’s a lot easier when they leave the company Of course, no matter what, no matter what Of course, no matter what, no matter what It’s a very stupid thing to do It’s a very stupid thing to do For example, in Japan, there’s a lot of talk about the suicides at the dentsu employees A young girl who graduates from a prestigious university enters the industry’s biggest company It’s kind of like a great forward And it turns out that it’s because of the stress of the job And it turns out that it’s because of the stress of the job A lot of people would think that this kind of thing doesn’t make sense The job pressure is big, does that resign not good? Why do you have to go out of the way? But in fact, there is the power of commitment and conformity in the context of such cases Sometimes we have to pay too much for our life now And the envy of others Even if you know it’s hard work But I can’t admit it Since persistence is seen as a virtue So giving up nature in the middle would be considered a cowardly act But we now know that this is just a mechanistic thinking A lot of times you’re comfortable with the situation And that’s just as important The promise and the principle of consistency is that We usually don’t want to appear inconsistent Be consistent with your image So what happens next I’m going to say the last point That’s the social identity principle Student: the principle that it says It’s a state of mind Want to be consistent with those around you In keeping with the general idea of society The social identity principle describes a kind of conformity psychology We are always looking at other people’s behavior To judge a thing by its criteria Especially in public places The way that people around us have a very strong sense of direction for our own actions In general, it’s a much safer way to do it In general, it’s a much safer way to do it But the herd mentality also tends to make us do something that we don’t want to do And this idea of social identity has been exploited in many ways For example, a beggar would put a little money in his bowl first It showed that he had been given a television sitcom. I always have a good laugh in all sorts of passages At this point, the audience in front of the TV even though they didn’t find it funny At this point, the audience in front of the TV even though they didn’t find it funny They are also being carried away because they hear laughter And the most common advertising techniques It’s not about the quality of the goods It’s marketing it The subtext is that everybody buys our products so you should buy them The subtext is that everybody buys our products so you should buy them We’re in the middle of a shopping spree like the double eleven The biggest reason is because see other people also all buy! buy! buy! The biggest reason is because see other people also all buy! buy! buy! There’s a famous quote from the American sales industry Only 5% of our customers have their own ideas. The remaining 95% are just copycats So when does the principle of social identity work best? It’s a little bit unsettling in our own minds Feeling unsure of what to do next In a moment of hesitation We look at other people’s reactions To eliminate the hesitation in your mind But there is one fact that we can easily overlook That is, other people may be hesitant They may be doing the same thing that we do Especially when the situation is very uncertain Everybody is looking at each other Everybody is looking at each other Expecting others to give themselves an answer And the immediate consequence of that is that nobody is going to be the first to act There is a term for this situation called pluralistic ignorance. There is a term for this situation called pluralistic ignorance. To put it more generally, the three monks didn’t have any water to eat But sometimes it can lead to very serious consequences One night in 1964 A murder in a residential neighborhood in New York City A young woman was stabbed to death in the street The whole chase lasted for half an hour At least 38 people in the neighborhood have seen or heard At least 38 people in the neighborhood have seen or heard But no one came out to stop it. Not even a single person Call an anonymous 911 call And when that fact was revealed The public opinion is boiling No one knows why things will turn out like this So the news media uniformly blamed this on the indifference and numbness of the city life Now, the modern world of this fast-paced modern society has turned urban dwellers into hardened, cold-blooded monsters Now, the modern world of this fast-paced modern society has turned urban dwellers into hardened, cold-blooded monsters There’s a lot of things like that For example, someone suddenly fell ill on the street in the street. Pedestrians pass by But no one stopped to help him. But no one stopped to help him. It seems that this kind of thing can only be criticized in the world But a psychologist like the author has his own different interpretation And he thinks that’s the bad thing And he thinks that’s the bad thing It’s the social identity principle People don’t understand why there are so many witnesses But there is no one who can help. But the problem is that there are too many people Everybody’s waiting for somebody else to do it Everybody’s thinking Since there are so many people present There’s always gon na be one out there In other words, if nobody comes out In other words, if nobody comes out So, we’re going to subconsciously think it’s all right. There is no need to take action at all And that leads to a very interesting conclusion And sometimes for those in need of help The more people there are, the better In particular, things like falling down on the street In particular, things like falling down on the street If only one or two people were present So he’s much more likely to be saved And this conclusion is also supported by a variety of behavioral experiments And this conclusion is also supported by a variety of behavioral experiments So people don’t get help in the city It’s not because the urbanite is indifferent It’s because in the big cities the environment is changing faster It’s easy to get confused It’s hard to judge the situation Secondly, the urban population is very dense And finally, on the streets of big cities You don’t know anybody Those are the three factors And that leads people to be more likely to observe other people’s responses That’s what we call the ” pluralistic ignorance ” But even if you don’t mean to ignore the other person’s dilemma It’s still a very dangerous thing to do So here’s a suggestion here So here’s a suggestion here If you need help because of a sudden onset or sudden attack, the best thing to do If you need help because of a sudden onset or sudden attack, the best thing to do It’s not a call to a large group of people It’s about being able to act while you are conscious Pick a person from the crowd in a timely fashion To point to him, to be clear This gentleman in blue, please give me a first aid call. This simple sentence can eliminate all the uncertainties The person you specified He clearly knows that he has a responsibility to help you So you don’t have to look at other people’s reactions All the scientific evidence is that That would greatly increase the likelihood of being rescued In particular, the authors point out Of all the psychological principles that are mentioned in this book What he would like most readers to remember is that this is the opposite of what we are talking about And in the next ten thousand one Maybe you can save your life In fact, all of these psychological principles In fact, all of these psychological principles They are both a double-edged sword You can use them Of course you can use it yourself And the key thing is to understand the structure of them And keep it in mind Alright, so that’s the end of the book Alright, so that’s the end of the book So let’s just summarize this briefly First of all, we talked about the psychological principle of reciprocity First of all, we talked about the psychological principle of reciprocity Reciprocity is something that we subconsciously think What if someone did something for us? We should do something for him. In the process of selling or negotiating Whether they give a little bit of grace or give in to the reward Whether they give a little bit of grace or give in to the reward Whether they give a little bit of grace or give in to the reward Reciprocity is a powerful weapon We can put pressure on us in the invisible Fight against it We should take a cool look at the offers and concessions that come with it Realize that these are just a means We are not obligated to return Second, we talked about commitment and consistency Second, we talked about commitment and consistency We try to keep our words and actions consistent When we make promises to others I give myself a position And then we’re going to try to maintain it At this point, it could be a specific commitment to an object Sometimes it may just be a statement of opinion But that’s enough to create a lot of psychological stress To force us to act on what we say Be consistent and consistent It’s a very stupid thing to do For the products that you consume We are still going to improve our ability to identify ourselves In addition, we should be brave enough to face the change in our own mood In addition, we should be brave enough to face the change in our own mood And finally, we talked about the social identity principle that we always look at other people’s behavior And finally, we talked about the social identity principle that we always look at other people’s behavior By using this as a standard, to judge the right and wrong of a thing Especially in public places The way that people around us have a very strong sense of direction for our own actions But, because it’s so common So when the situation is very uncertain Maybe everybody is looking at each other Nobody moves And that’s what happens when you have three monks who don’t have water to eat We think we make decisions independently and wisely But in fact our minds and judgments are often shaped by the actions of others and their actions But in fact our minds and judgments are often shaped by the actions of others and their actions These effects may seem trivial It seems to have nothing to do with our decision But they really do affect us It changed our decision Let us listen to the arrangement of others without knowing it. And this influence is how we categorize the forces that affect us And explain how it works And of course, the principles of psychology And of course, the principles of psychology They don’t harm people, they don’t help people They’re just completely neutral tools We might be deceived by these principles It’s also possible to use these principles to convince others It’s also possible to use these principles to convince others Make it work Reduce the problem of communication breakdowns in daily communication They might even save their lives But keep in mind that psychology itself induces a variety of mindsets and mindsets They are, of course, a rigorous conclusion from a lot of scientific experiments But the human mind is just too complex Like the principles of the book It’s just some of the more common phenomena It’s not a universal formula It’s going to be different Social environment Alright, so this is the book Thank you for your attention. Welcome to share And open the little bell next to it My latest update will remind you the first time I’m the host, siling I’ll see you next time

3 thoughts on “《影响力》|你为什么会说“是”?|互惠原理是什么意思?|承诺与一致原理是什么意思?|社会认同原理是什么意思?|社会认同原理如何发挥作用?罗伯特·B·西奥迪尼作品|#StayHome #WithMe

  1. 谢谢分享。视频做的真好💞💞💞💞内容非常有质量,主要是学到东西了。

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